happy birthday to me

I turned 33 on Thursday.

33 is three years older than my "you're only 30, there's still time to get your shit together" self-imposed deadline and two years away from my "you're 35, is your shit together yet?" self-imposed deadline.

I didn't write a new year's resolution post in January, because I didn't have any, and I don't particularly enjoy subjecting myself to a list of things designed to make me feel like crap about myself. So I didn't "resolve" to do anything.

But Birthdays have a funny way of making you take stock of where you are, and where you want to be. So in honor of being another year wiser, here are some "goals" that I would like to "work towards achieving":

1. Log more friend time. My friends are awesome, and let's face it, friends (at least the ones worth keeping) are the only people who are hardwired to absolutely support and believe in you, no matter how ridonculous your ideas are. In light of the fact that I am no longer 10 years old, and my friends no longer live on the next cul-de-sac. I really need to work at keeping all of the wonderful people that I know an active part of my life. Which means that for my 33rd year, I give myself a hall pass to occasionally put down that squeegee/pen/piece of fabric, come out from hiding, and go for a beer.

2. Stop being so freaking socially awkward. I've always been one to show up at a formal dinner in ink-stained studio attire, or not RSVP to a dinner party, but it's getting out of control. Some of my foibles are making it seem like I don't care, and that's not cool.

3. Practice saying "no". I regularly take on anything that comes my way, and consequently do a substandard job of everything. This seriously needs to change. This year, I'm only going to take on as much as I know I can handle, and be realistic about it. Doing less, but doing all of it 150% better will benefit me mentally AND creatively.

4. Treat my business more like a business. I am no longer allowed to just *give* my hard work away to friends and family. Until I start taking myself seriously, no-one else can either. Which means no more freebie contracts or "pay what you can" transactions. I put my heart and soul into what I do, and I owe it to myself to be compensated accordingly.

5. Do (at least one) unassisted pull-up. In January I joined a gym with some friends (charmingly called "the slaughterhouse"), and although it has almost made me cry (like, actually break down sobbing) on two accounts, I'm loving the challenge. Last night we knocked out 100 (assisted) pull ups, no big deal. I can't believe how strong it's making me, both mentally and physically.

6. Don't get my knickers in a twist if I turn 34 and none of this has happened. Because above all else, I've learned that everything will happen when it happens, and there's no point in worrying about imaginary timelines. We all go at our own pace, and I'm a wanderer, always have been. It's time to start enjoying the scenery along the way a bit more.

Happy Birthday to me!

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